Emotions

Emotions

Band-Aid or Bonanza—A Fish Tale

Do Not PASS—GO!

©Arlene R. Taylor PhD   

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Downshifting

Downshifting

Geared for Life’s Highway

Do Not PASS—GO!

©Arlene R. Taylor PhD   

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Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

Busting Bad Behaviors

Do Not PASS—GO!

©Arlene R. Taylor PhD   

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Cellular Memory

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Communication

Communication

White Bears and Willpower [PDF]

Do Not PASS—GO!

©Arlene R. Taylor PhD   

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Brain Bent

Brain Bent

A Bent Is a Plus

Do Not PASS—GO!

©Arlene R. Taylor PhD   

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Attitude/Mindset

Attitude/Mindset

Fable of the Pouty Parrot

Do Not PASS—GO!

©Arlene R. Taylor PhD   

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Affirmations

Affirmations

Affirmation Advantage

©Arlene R. Taylor, PhD    www.ArleneTaylor.org

articles200408Lyria was life-threateningly over weight. Morbidly obese, actually. There was no other term for it. The scales could register up to 350 pounds and the needle hit the top before she had stepped up with both feet! A delightful woman—barely out of her teens—Lyria had enrolled in the Longevity Lifestyle Matters Program because, as she put it, “I feel sorry for my heart.” She’d heard that the heart had to pump blood through an additional seven miles of blood vessels for every pound of unnecessary fat. “That’s likely in the nature of several thousand miles of unnecessary blood vessels,” she said, wryly. “Doc says my blood pressure is dangerously high, to say nothing of making it almost impossible for me to go anywhere without being pushed in a wheelchair.” Tongue in cheek she joked she was in good company, at least in terms of numbers. They are high, the numbers. Over 2.1 billion people—nearly one-third of the world’s population—are either obese or overweight, according to a new, first-of-its kind analysis of trend data from 188 countries.

It didn’t take long to discover that Lyria did not understand the difference between a sensation of physical hunger and thirst or of a core emotion, for that matter. Consequently, she ate when she felt hungry, thirsty, happy, mad, anxious, sad, or you name it. When she was asked, “How do you feel right now?” her response was, “I feel hungry for pie.” It took a while for Lyria to comprehend that “hungry for pie” was not a feeling! In her case, “hungry for pie” was an indication that she used food to trigger her brain reward system. The dopamine that was released made her feel “better” for a short period of time, and then she would need to eat again.

Bottom line, Lyria exhibited addictive behaviors around food. It was her drug of choice—especially the fat, sugar, white flour, and other simply carbohydrates contained in the pie. No matter the flavor: pecan, lemon, pistachio, banana coconut, key lime, pumpkin, cherry, berry, rhubarb, apple, Boston Cream—just as long as there were a pair of pies. If Lyria ate any, she ate two. Pies, not slices!

When Lyria reviewed the Yale top addictive-like foods, she checked off all of them.

Food

Addictive Rate

 

Food

Addictive Rate

1.  Pizza

4.01

 

8.   Soda

3.29

2.  Chocolate

3.73

 

9.   Cake

3.26

3.  Chips

3.73

 

10. Dairy Cheese

3.22

4.  Cookies

3.71

 

11. Bacon

3.03

5.  Ice Cream

3.68

 

12. Fried Chicken

2.97

6.  French fries

3.60

 

13. Rolls

2.73

7.  Cheeseburger

3.51

 

14. Buttered Popcorn

2.64

Lyria mumbled to herself through much of each meal. “Are you saying grace or complaining?” one of the program participants asked.

“Neither,” Lyria replied, chuckling. “I’m telling myself: I don’t want to eat two pies today. I don’t even want to think about two pies!”

Affirmation brainlayersLyria’s self-talk was unhelpful. When I asked her what picture she saw in her mind’s eye after repeating those phrases, she answered, “Duh! Two pies.”

That was no surprise. The brain tends to think in pictures. However, it is relatively easy for the brain to miss the word don’t. This is especially true of the subconscious brain layers; the reptilian or 1st brain layer (the brain stem and cerebellum), the mammalian or 2nd brain layer (portions of the limbic system), and around 80 percent of the neocortex or 3rd brain layer.

“You just gave your brain a map to follow: two pies,” I explained. “What could you do to reverse that mental picture?” Lyria had not a clue.  

In truth, it’s not really possible to follow an open-ended negative instruction such as, “I don’t want to eat two pies,” or “Don’t think about two pies.” Even if you stumble on a strategy that endeavors to replace the picture of two pies with something else, you will always come back to thinking about the two pies, if only to remind yourself that you’re supposed to be thinking about something else!

The subconscious brain readily understands positives. The brain processes negatives (the reverse of an idea) much less effectively. Unfortunately, growing up most people heard seven to nine negative comments for every positive one. Those from quite dysfunctional families typically heard thirty or forty negative comments for every positive comment or instruction.

When the brain hears the words “Don’t touch the stove,” it initially creates a picture of touching the stove. If it picks up on the word “don’t” then it must try to create a different picture, one related to the reverse of the first idea. This is a two-step process and difficult for an adult brain to accomplish—almost impossible for a child’s brain!

It is usually much more effective to say, “Keep your hands away from the stove.” That is a one-step process as the brain’s initial picture is of the hands being held away from the stove. It is clearer and takes less time and energy, since the brain doesn’t have to try creating a reverse picture.

Think back to your childhood. What did you hear? If you heard, “Don’t do this, don’t do that, you can’t do this, you shouldn’t do that,” your brain is likely filled with negative self-talk recordings.

Given that Lyria wanted to start living a Longevity Lifestyle, it was important that she get her “mindset” in hand. The brain can only do what it thinks it can do and Lyria needed to tell her brain what she wanted it to help her do. Instead of thinking helpless and hopeless thoughts, Lyria began seeing in her mind’s eye what she would look like when she reached her desired weight range. That gave her subconscious a “picture” to follow. The reptilian layer (think frogs!) and mammalian layer (all mammals) do not use language per se but they can follow the mental pictures that are created in the neocortex by language.

Secondly, Lyria also needed to get her “self-talk” on board. That meant she needed to change not only her thoughts but what she said to herself. Affirmation is the programming language of the brain. Stop talking about what you do not want to have happen and only talk about what you want to have happen. Lyria wrote down several phrases and repeated them several times a day using the new research-based self-talk style. Use your first name so your brain knows for sure who you are talking about. Use short, positive, present-tense phrases and sentences, and speak as if it is already happening.

For example:

  • Lyria, you drink a glass of water 30 minutes before you eat.
  • Lyria, you drink enough water to give you one or two pale urines a day.
  • Lyria, you only have in the house the food you choose to eat.
  • Lyria, you are enjoying living a Longevity Lifestyle.
  • Lyria, you are eating fresh fruit and love it.

I emphasized that affirmations must be followed by practical application. Saying “You drink a glass of water 30 minutes before you eat” is one thing. In order to build pathways in the subconscious so eventually this behavior becomes automatic requires the repetitive “doing” of what you are “saying.”

Lyria wanted to know the reason for speaking in the present tense as if what you want the brain to help you accomplish is already happening. Simple. The brain tends to get in gear to help you only when it perceives that right now is the time. When you speak in a future tense, the brain tends to think, “When the future comes I’ll help you. But if the past is any indication, by next week you’ll have forgotten all about it. Just think how much time and energy I’ll save.” And indeed, since you’re speaking in a future tense, you never arrive at that future point, so to speak. On the other hand, when you use present-tense words and phrases the brain thinks, “Wow! I better get with the program!”

Is using an affirming communication style a simple concept? Absolutely!

It is easy to change a life-time of self-talk patterns? No!

And it can be done. Lyria did it.

Several months later when she returned for an alumni program, she could actually step onto the program scales without the needle hitting the maximum! Not only that, her blood pressure readings had dropped significantly as had her cholesterol levels—and she could actually walk around the block on her own two feet!

When it was Lyria’s turn to recount her journey toward better health, over a hundred program attendees listened intently. It was obvious that life had already vastly improved. She concluded her short presentation with these words: “There have been times when I opened my mouth to say something and could not think of a single way in which to state my thoughts in a positive style. But practice helps. I am not biting my tongue nearly as frequently as this new communication style is becoming easier and easier. In addition, I am following my words with actions to build software in my subconscious. Do I wish I could have learned this earlier in life—when I was five instead of twenty-five? Definitely. But, better late than never!”

Hey, at twenty-five she was half-a-century ahead of some of the other program attendees!

Life does go better with an affirming communication style. Gradually, you begin to speak to others in the style you are using with yourself, which tends to increase cooperation and compliance.

Does it prevent all problems? Of course not! It does give your brain a one-step picture to follow, however. I call it the “Affirmation Advantage,” and it can be used in any area of life.

As Lyria said, better late than never. And there’s no time like the present to get started!

www.LongevityLifestyleMatters.com

 

©Arlene R. Taylor, PhD     www.ArleneTaylor.org

articles200408I watched her, alone on the front steps. The service had just concluded, and it was obvious to my eleven-year-old eyes that she was a visitor. One after another, attendees walked right past as if they didn’t see her. How they could have done so was beyond me. Admittedly I’m not very “visual” in terms of sensory preference. I am “frontal right,” however, and do tend to notice differences and when something changes.

This woman was a vision of color. Mismatched color! She wore a shocking orange dress (at least two sizes too small); shoes, an off-shade of bright red; hair, something in between. In my teenage years the term was “not well put together.” I was busy being so amazed at the package that it took me a while to realize that her body language radiated discomfort.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mother moving toward the woman. As the minister’s wife, my mother’s practice was to seek out individuals who were visitors or who didn’t seem to fit in. She had a knack for saying appropriate words and gracious way of making them welcome.

I chuckled inwardly and thought to myself, I bet this one stumps her!

I was wrong. I’m so glad you could be here today,” my mother said, adding, “in this light your hair is absolutely alive with sunbeams!”

The woman literally sighed with relief. I didn’t expect to be in town this long,”she explained, “so I brought no dress clothesWhen my visit lasted over the weekend, I borrowed some so I could come today.”

Oops! She wanted to come to church badly enough to borrow clothes, I thought to myself, and was thoroughly ashamed of my earlier assessment.

Later, I asked my mother, How do you always think of something appropriate to say? That’s when she told me about canning compliments.

I knew about canning, of course. You know, the precursor to freezing. If I had a dollar for every piece of vegetable and fruit I’ve stuffed into a Mason jar I’d be rich! But canning compliments? Mother explained that there is always something about which one can affirm another individual. She claimed that it was the fastest way she knew of to help someone feel comfortable. It seems that mother had made a habit of matching a notable attribute with an appropriate accolade, which she then metaphorically canned. “That way,” she explained, “no matter who I meet, I can always open a jar and tailor (no pun was intended, I’m sure) the contents to the occasion.”

Compliments.

According to Webster’s, a compliment is an expression of esteem, respect, affection, honor, or admiration. In some ways, it’s akin to an affirmation. Many don’t know how to give genuine compliments because, as children, they seldom heard them. Or we may have heard them in the form of manipulation or insincere flatter. And those who struggle with self-esteem issues may be reluctant to look for ways to give compliment others. As if recognizing the positives in others somehow diminishes their worth.

It was years later before I fully appreciated the value of my mother’s novel idea. No need to stumble around, searching for appropriate words. Just open a jar and tweak the contents. Contrived, you ask? No more so than planning ahead for nutritious meals in the dead cold of a Canadian winter by preserving the rich harvest in the midst of autumn plenty.

How about your pantry?

Any jars of canned compliments on your shelves?

©Arlene R. Taylor PhD    www.arlenetaylor.org

articles200408A drop of salty perspiration rolled lazily down Mrs. Wentworth’s nose and spattered on the wooden handle of her dandelion digger. The red ribbon around the crown of her broad-brimmed hat was frayed, but the matching rose on the band looked surprisingly chipper.

I just must think about the loveliness of this lawn without a single offending dandelion, she told herself determinedly. If I don’t, I won’t last much longer out here in this heat. At that moment, the sound of squealing tires stayed her hand in midair. That must be Paul on his new ten-speed, she mused. Paul, the neighbor’s son, was a great kid. Every cell in his twelve-year-old body was packed with energy. Oh to have his vim and vigor!

Sure enough. Paul zoomed through his garden gate and screeched to a stop on the patio. “Hey, don’t drop those batons!” he called to his younger sisters who were practicing their latest routines. As if on cue, both batons crashed to the ground.

“You did it again,” the twins yelled. “You made us mess up!” Crestfallen, Paul headed for the house. The twins brushed angry tears from their eyes; tears that mingled with the perspiration on their freckled faces.

Mrs. Wentworth called out, “Hi y’all. How about coming over for a frosty bar?” The faces of the girls brightened. Shawna, Sheila, and Paul scrambled toward their neighbor’s shady gazebo.

Tempers soon cooled as they all sat together enjoying the icy refreshments. Mrs. Wentworth broke the companionable silence. “I believe you meant to encourage your sisters,” she said, looking directly at Paul. He nodded, weakly. “And I think that sometimes,” she continued, glancing at the twins, “it seems as though Paul’s help doesn’t help.” They nodded, vigorously.

“Paul,” the woman asked after a moment, “Do you recall what you were thinking the first time you tried to ride your new bike through the garden gate?” The boy smiled wryly. “I was thinking that I didn’t want to hit the gatepost and I ran into it anyway.” Mrs. Wentworth grimaced. It had not been a pretty sight. Paul had pulled splinters from his arm for a week.

“What do you think about now?” she persisted.

“I don’t think I think about anything,” Paul replied.

“We all think all the time,” Mrs. Wentworth said. “We don’t always think about what we are thinking, however.”

Paul chewed on his frosty bar. The twins watched him intently. After a moment’s reflection (a long time for Paul!) he said, “I tell myself to aim for the middle. It works.”

“Of course it works.” Mrs. Wentworth smiled. “It’s one of the laws of the mind.”

“Laws of the mind,” retorted Paul. “I’ve never heard of them. So Mrs. Wentworth explained how the mind creates pictures from our thoughts. Positive pictures can be a powerful force in helping us to achieve positive outcomes. The opposite is true, as well. “When Shawna and Sheila heard, don’t drop your batons, their minds created a picture of the batons falling,” she said. “They then had to imagine the reverse, unsuccessfully as it turned out. It’s much better to create a positive picture to start with.”

“Grab your batons. This time Paul can use positive-talk pictures,” Mrs. Wentworth suggested.

Paul’s face turned into a huge question mark. “Uh, what do I say?” he asked quickly.

“Oh, something like, catch those batons,” his neighbor suggested.

The twins began twirling their batons. Paul took a deep breath. “Okay, nab those batons.” He held his breath. Wonder of wonders, Shawna and Sheila caught the batons, without a hitch, several times.

Paul jumped to his feet. “This is magic! Does this mean they won’t ever drop them again?”

“Heavens no!” said Mrs. Wentworth. “Creating positive pictures doesn’t mean we won’t make mistakes. It does usually help us to make fewer mistakes, however.”

The twins ran back to their patio. “Thanks Paul,” they called back to him.

Paul sat like a statue on the gazebo bench, then he opened his mouth a couple of times, but no sound came out. “What is it, Paul?” Mrs. Wentworth asked.

The boy hesitated another moment and then suggested, “I bet you could teach me how to shoot baskets.”

“As in basketball?” Mrs. Wentworth chuckled. “I’m far too old to play basketball!”

“But you could teach me how to make pictures,” Paul persisted. “I’d like to beat my cousin just once when he comes on vacation later this summer.” His eyes sparkled at the very thought.

Now if there was one thing Mrs. Wentworth enjoyed, it was teaching young people how to make positive pictures. It wouldn’t do to appear too eager, however.

“You have a deal, Paul,” she said finally. “I can begin helping you after school tomorrow.” With a yahoo that could be heard a block away, Paul dashed across the yard toward his house, the back door slapping shut behind him.

Mrs. Wentworth jabbed the digger at a recalcitrant dandelion. There’s every chance, she thought to herself, that Paul can significantly improve his game this summer.

Tomorrow would be fun. She could hardly wait!

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Addictive Behaviors

Addictive Behaviors

The Addictive Palate

©Arlene R. Taylor, PhD     www.ArleneTaylor.org

Addictive behaviors are habits—brain software programs—
that have run away with themselves.
—Arlene R. Taylor

xCJ slumped in an overstuffed chair, his wife BJ (they were into acronyms) rigid on a stool. Both faces were wreathed in scowls.

“CJ has a problem,” BJ said. “It is ruining our lives.”

“BJ enables my so-called problem,” CJ snapped.

“In a couple of sentences, CJ, tell me the issue,” I said.

“We’ve been cooped up at home and food has escalated from an avocation to a vocation,” said CJ.

“Some of our friends in a similar situation started to eat more healthfully at home—no fast food and all—and they have lost weight,” said BJ. “Not CJ. He has gained over 50 pounds!”

“Hey, I just want to feel better,” CJ sputtered.

“Be honest, CJ. It’s SUGAR!” BJ shook her head. “You are addicted to sugar!”

Some sugary foods,” he admitted.

Some? CJ eats a pint of ice cream almost every evening!” BJ exclaimed.

“Like I said, I just want to feel better.”

“I’m sure you do, CJ,” I interjected. “That is natural. Your brain wants you to feel better so it will feel better—and sooner rather than later, faster rather than slower. The problem comes when you develop strategies to feel better quickly instead of creating and maintaining a longevity lifestyle. Quick feel-better strategies can escalate into addictive behaviors as the brain learns to go for the fastest dopamine thrill. Problem is that each thrill lasts only a short time.”

CJ gazed out through the window.

“What’s this about an enabling issue, BJ?” I asked.

BJ sighed, dramatically. “What am I supposed to do? CJ snacks continually and complains bitterly if I do not keep the house stocked with all his favorites. Frankly, it is easier to keep them stocked than listen to him whine. Then he blames me! It’s getting very old!”

“Whining is just anger squeezing out through a very small opening,” I explained. “Blaming is an attempt to displace part of one’s discomfort onto someone else. CJ is a grown man. You can love him and let him stock his own unhealthy favorites. You can eat healthfully and stop nagging him. You are not his mother. Enabling behaviors allow you to feel sorry for yourself, which helps no one.”

“Ouch,” said BJ. “You certainly nailed that one.”

“Maybe it is in my genes,” said CJ. “Yeah, that’s it. Genes! Addictions run through our family system like water through the Grand Canyon.”

“Genetic can play a part, but estimates are that 70 percent of how well and how long you live is related to personal lifestyle choices. If your brain believes there is no problem with your lifestyle, it will continue to prompt you to do whatever makes you feel better quickly, giving little if any thought to how it will impact your future health and longevity. Scans of a brain high on refined sugar resemble those of a brain high on cocaine.”

“Are you joking?” asked CJ.

I shook my head.

“Are there other foods besides sugar that are addictive?” asked BJ.

I nodded my head.

“The University of Michigan reported on study using the Yale Food Addiction Scale,” I explained. “Ranked in order of most problematic in terms of addictive-like behavior, the top 12 foods were these:

  1. Pizza
  2. Chocolate
  3. Chips
  4. Cookies
  5. Ice cream
  6. French fries
  7. Cheeseburgers
  8. Cake
  9. Sodas
  10. Dairy cheese
  11. Bacon
  12. Chicken

“Lord have mercy!” CJ groaned. “I love all of those. Eat most of ‘em every day!”

BJ perked up. “So, what can we do?”

“A start is to rid your house of products made with refined sugar, products you eat to feel better quickly,” I suggested. “Ice cream, for example.” This suggestion was followed by several groans coming from CJ’s direction.

“B-b-b-but…” CJ finally stuttered. “I mean, how is it that sugar make me feel so much better?”

“Sugar is an addictive-like substance that triggers the Brain Reward System, or BRS, to release dopamine, the feel-better chemical,” I replied.

“Where is this BRS?” asked CJ, laughing rather than groaning. “I assume it is in the brain somewhere.”

brain layersI explained the three functional brain layers.

  • “The cerebrum (3rd brain layer) houses conscious thought, with an estimated 80 percent devoted to subconscious functions. It contains the function of willpower, designed to help you learn a new replacement behavior and maintain it. Remember, willpower was not designed to stop an undesirable behavior, however. It was designed to help you learn and maintain a new and more desirable replacement behavior.
  • “The mammalian (2nd brain layer) is subconscious and contains functions related to the Brain Reward System or BRS. In fact, relapses into past addictive behaviors tend to occur from this part of the brain. It remembers what you did “last time” to feel better and prompts you to repeat tht behavior.
  • “The reptilian (1st brain layer) is also subconscious and contains stress responses and repetitive routines that often kick in automatically unless you make a different choice. It primarily understands present tense: right here, right now.”

“Mammalian or 2nd brain layer,” said CJ, nodding. “Subconscious. Got it.”

“When the brain perceives that you want to feel better, it tends to look for something to trigger the release of dopamine—50 percent of which is found in your brain and the rest in your gut. The next time you want to feel better, the BRS pushes you to do whatever released dopamine the last time. Before long, you can develop a habit that moves on to an addictive behavior. It is not that it is impossible to control an addictive behavior, but eventually the behavior that triggers the BRS to release dopamine becomes so strong that most people just give up trying. Even the anticipation of doing something that makes your brain feel better can trigger the release of dopamine.”

“Oh…my…goodness. I finally get it,” exclaimed CJ. “I feel bad. My BRS pushes me to do what made me feel better last time. I do the behavior; I feel better. Next time I feel bad, the cycle repeats. Wow! Ok, I will start by getting refined sugar products out of the house. How long before I’m done screaming at the walls?”

“That depends on you and your brain: on your mindset and your self-talk. Your brain can only do what it thinks it can do. It is your job to tell it what it can do,” I explained. You get your mindset in place, then use the new recommended self-talk style. Stop telling your brain what you do not want to do and tell it only what you are doing as if it is a done deal. Use your name and short, present-tense phrases.”

“I need an example,” said CJ.

“First, select a healthier replacement behavior. Second, when you crave sugar, tell your brain:

  • CJ, you are eating an apple, or
  • CJ, you are drinking a big glass of water with a squirt of lime, or
  • CJ, you are eating some hummus with celery sticks, or
  • CJ, you are eating a dozen unsalted walnut halves.

“Many brains can resolve a sugar addiction in three or four days once the individual changes their mindset and self-talk and completely stops eating all refined sugar. Just remember that a good dose of sugar or honey will put you right back on the same treadmill.”

CJ maneuvered himself out of the chair, no longer scowling. “Three or four days, is it? I bet my brain can beat that. Count me in, and I will be spending time on your website!”

“Count me in for that, too,” said BJ, “and count me out of enabling.”

They both laughed. CJ and BJ were on their way.

©Arlene R. Taylor, PhD     www.ArleneTaylor.org

Thankfully, technology is here and here to stay. I, for one, have no desire to return to the ‘stone age’ or the ‘bronze age’ or any other ‘age’ for that matter. Technology, however, can be a valued friend or your brain’s worse enemy. Do you want to be a person or a machine?
—Arlene R. Taylor

xTechnology. According to Wikipedia, the use of the word technology has changed significantly over the last 200 years. Before the 20th century, the term was relatively uncommon in English. When utilized, it referred to
the study of “useful arts” or was associated with technical education, as in the Massachusetts Institute of Technology that was chartered in 1861.

The 21st Century is not only referred to as The Age of the Brain but also as
the Age of Technology. But what happens when the brain and technology
collide? And what does the word technology, in today’s world, actually encompass? In most dictionaries, the definitions are rather broad. Read the full PDF here…

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Adapting

Adapting

Do Not PASS—GO!

Do Not PASS—GO!

©Arlene R. Taylor PhD    www.arlenetaylor.org

To recharge themselves, individuals need to recognize the costs of energy-depleting behaviors and then take responsibility for changing them, regardless of circumstances they’re facing.

Harvard Business Review 10/07
“Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time” 

articles200408My iPhone vibrated into electronic life. The voice sounded hesitant, fatigued, maybe even in pain.

“I stumbled across your website,” the speaker said, “and found the article on PASS [Prolonged Adaptive Stress Syndrome]. It sounded a lot like me. I have several of the symptoms, but I am unable to pinpoint any specific event that might have triggered them. Where do I go from here?”

Interestingly, it was the third call that morning: three different people in three different countries; three different but similar stories. Three unrelated individuals who did not feel good, had little energy, couldn’t sleep, and were marginally desperate for answers.

This is what I told each of them. Every brain and body is unique, as is everyone’s life journey. This means that goals for health and wellness need to be customized for each person. However, there are strategies that, when practically applied, can help a person move toward living an optimum lifestyle. Since PASS describes a cluster of eight symptoms, I like to identify the “where to from here” as a cluster of eight recovery tips.

Step #1: Identify your history

Many are living unbalanced lives consumed with frantic doing, having lost all track of being. Are you one of them? Evaluate your lifestyle history. If you are unable to identify an event that triggered the development of PASS symptoms, what happened that pushed you to develop the lifestyle you are living? What reinforced your brain’s innate bent, making it difficult, if not impossible, to live authentically?

Understand where you’ve built your skills and identify the types of tasks and activities that energize versus drain your energy. Figure out your Achilles heel, so to speak, and then minimize the time spent on tasks that are exhausting your brain and body. As the Harvard Business Review put it so succinctly, identify energy-depleting behaviors and then take responsibility for changing them, regardless of whatever circumstances you’re facing.

Creating and living high-level-healthiness is a journey, not a one-stop fix. Commit to be in this for the long haul, learning for the rest of your life. Hopefully, you will be alive for a long time, so you might as well start now learning how to be the happiest, healthiest, most energetic, and successful person you can be.

In fact, living authentically may be the most important thing you can do in life–for yourself, for others, and maybe even for the world. Blame is out.  Most people did the best they could at the time with the knowledge and tools they possessed, you included. Even if your history involves evil you can’t go back and redo it. If you need to forgive yourself and others in order to improve your health, do so. (Refer to the mini-monograph “To Forgive or Not to Forgive.”)

Step #2: Obtain a medical evaluation

Sometimes an underlying health challenge contributes to symptoms. Sometimes the person’s lifestyle serves as a trigger. Discuss your health history with a trusted physician to identify whether a serious underlying illness or disease exist. If yes, obtain appropriate testing, diagnosis, and treatment.

If there is no underlying disease process, look for other health issues. Everyone has developed some energy-depleting behaviors. Sometimes those include serious addictive behaviors or other deficiencies in appropriate self-care. In a general sense, the super-ego enables a person to take very good care of themselves as well as think of the good of others. Unfortunately, many allow these two concepts to swing out of balance. Hone your super-ego and practice effective self-care.

There’s always something you can do to improve your health; your physician or trusted health care professional can often help you craft essential strategies.

Step #3: Become mindfully aware

Many people drift through life from hour to hour and day to day without much conscious awareness of what is happening in the moment. Become mindfully aware of your thoughts, what is going on around you, your reactions and behaviors, and your energy level at any given moment. All three of my morning phone calls were from people who were aware they were out of energy. None had developed the skill of identifying the relative energy expenditures different tasks required. Consequently, they were not minimizing time spent on energy-exhausting tasks and maximizing time spent on energy-efficient tasks.

Make sure you have pen and paper or iPad or some other tool handy that will allow you to make a note. Each time you complete a specific task write down the energy you expended on a scale of 1-10. Is balancing your check book a 2 or an 8? Is making your bed a 1 or a 7?  Is practicing your favorite instrument a 3 or a 10? You get the idea.

What tasks do you procrastinate–or would if you thought you could? Your brain knows where your energy goes! Often it pushes you to avoid tasks that involve higher levels of energy expenditures. Sometimes it allows you to become irritable when even thinking about doing specific tasks. Over time a pattern will emerge. Pay attention to that pattern and use it to create a more energy-efficient lifestyle. Find ways to minimize the time you spend doing energy-exhausting tasks.

Step #4: Obtain daily exercise

Physical exercise is essential to brain and immune-system health. It is also key to managing negative stressors. The brain, which has no muscles, needs physical exercise to help rush the blood through it, blood which removes toxic materials and waste products and replaces oxygen, glucose, and micronutrition. In addition, the immune system’s lymph vessels are not ringed with muscles as are blood vessels, so lymph vessels depend on physical exercise to keep lymph fluid from pooling around ankles and feet.

Four exercise types are recommended: aerobic, balance, endurance, and strength. Do some type of exercise every day, making sure to include all four types some time during the week. Walking, biking, and swimming are examples of aerobic exercise. Studies have shown that walking in nature can lower cortisol (stress hormone) levels, while walking indoors does not. Dr. Michael Lara recommends a 15-45 minute walk in nature five days a week, stopping periodically to pick up a rock for lift-above-your-head exercising and then returning to your walk or bike ride.

Be wise—make time to exercise. Every day! Even if you are confined to bed or a wheelchair, there is usually some exercise you can do.

Step #5:  Live a positive mindset

Develop the habit of living in a state of gratitude. You may be amazed at the improvement to your health: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Begin each day by identifying something for which to be grateful, and then continue to do so throughout the day at every opportunity. Choose to dwell on the positives in life and minimize any tendency to criticize, whine, or complain. (You know what whining is: anger squeezing out through a very small opening!)

The human brain is hardwired for joy–the only emotion that has no negative outcomes when maintained over time. This implies neither a Pollyanna approach to life nor an ostrich stance. Bad things happen to good people all the time. When that occurs, acknowledge what happened, take appropriate corrective action, and then look for the lesson or gift or opportunity. To learn more about emotions and feelings and the differences between them, check out articles under “Emotions” on the website. Knowledge is power!

In life you typically give up something to get something. Of course, the reverse is also true. You usually get something when you give something up. Sometimes what you get is something completely unexpected and often quite wonderful. Something you never even thought of. When one door closes, stop banging your head on it. Look for the open door instead. There is always an open door, although I missed a great many of them earlier in life, generally being too busy pounding on the closed door. Without exception, the open door offered me more than whatever was behind the closed door. I just had to move forward and identify the opportunity it presented.

Step #6:  Live in balance

Create and live a balanced lifestyle. You are the only person who can do this for you. The brain and body function best when they are used in balance within a balanced environment. Make a list of key factors that contribute to high-level healthiness and then include them in balance. Remember that more than half the factors that have been found to delay the onset of symptoms of aging are within your partial if not complete control.

Here are just a couple key factors to consider.

  • Rest and sleep. Are you sleep deprived? Studies have shown that at 20 hours without sleep, you are functioning at the level of a brain that has reached the California legal limit of alcohol intoxication (.08). And it just goes downhill from there. Each brain has an optimal sleep requirement. Figure out what is optimum for your brain and make it happen. Inadequate sleep can be a consequence of working swing or night shifts. If that is your work schedule, do whatever it takes to get an adequate amount of sleep. This may require a 15-minute catnap once or twice during a 24-hour period. A solid hour before you want to fall asleep, turn off all electronics that have LED lights. They tend to excite the brain. Make your bedroom as dark as possible. Light in the bedroom can suppress the production of melatonin, a hormone that is essential to sleep.
  • Water intake. Are you dehydrated? Lack of sufficient water intake can create a plethora of problems for brain and body. Dehydration can accelerate the rate of aging and increase free-radical production, neither of which are on my “to do” list. Unless you have a medical condition for which you have been advised to limit intake of fluids, drink water for your brain and body. If you have grown accustomed to drinking primarily fruit juice, colas, and coffee or tea, you may have to teach your taste buds to love pure water. It is the premium beverage for both brain and body. Estimates vary, but generally the body is composed of over 70% water, while the brain is around 85% or more. If your brain is short of water it does whatever it can do to get what it needs. For example, it may cause you to feel thirsty so you will drink water. It may even direct your bladder to concentrate its urine and send fluid to the brain. That’s a most unattractive proposition and puts a different spin on the term pea brain! How much is enough? A physician colleague of mine recommends drinking sufficient amount of water to produce two very pale urines per day.

Step #7:  Eat well

What do you eat, how much do you eat, how often do you eat, and when? Is meal time an enjoyable experience that you often share with supportive family and friends? Do you laugh while you eat? Those are all components of eating well. Many people expend needless amounts of energy ingesting and digesting more calories than brain and body need, exhausting the gastrointestinal (GI) system in the process.

As to what to eat, it’s pretty basic, actually. Multiple studies point toward the benefits of a Mediterranean style of eating. I go for the 20:80 rule myself¾80 percent of the time or more I lean toward a Mediterranean style of eating; up to 20 percent of the time I allow leeway for when traveling or when I want the taste of a favorite food (rice pudding or apple crisp) for variety and “old time’s sake.”

Increasingly, information is surfacing on the internet about the benefits of intermittent fasting. It’s a strategy designed to give your GI system a much needed rest for from 12-18 hours, one to three times a week. There are a couple of options:

  • Eat breakfast and lunch on a given day and then eat no food (drinking water only) until breakfast the following morning
  • Eat lunch and dinner on a given day and then drink water only until brunch late morning of the following day

Avoid worrying about inadequate amounts of glucose. Typically, the body has a 36-hour store of glucose. Intermittent fasting has been shown not only to help keep the GI system rested and energetic but also to maintain an optimum body weight due to the slight reduction in caloric intake. What a bonus!

Step #8:  Manage expectations 

Many people drift through life rather mindlessly, acting out the script they were handed at birth. You may need to do some Family-of-Origin Work to help you identify the expectations you have been following¾yours as well as those of others¾and consciously evaluate how they are impacting your life and health. (Refer to the mini-monograph “Family-of-Origin Work.”)

Which expectations are realistic, desirable, and contributing to your success? Which are not? Are you caretaking, exhausting yourself by doing for others what they can and need to do for themselves? Are you giving out of the well of your own unmet needs, thereby putting yourself into a life-deficit position? Be brutally honest: denial is more than a river in Egypt! Caretaking is very different from caring.

Develop a healthy selfishness that allows you to create and sustain a happy, healthy, balanced life—by design. This not only gives you energy to thrive but also provides an energy base (a full cup) from which to help others. Whom do you hang out with? You may need to do some pruning. Consciously and deliberately develop a circle of friends who are on a similar journey to health, happiness, and success; individuals who live a positive mindset, have a dynamite sense of humor, and laugh a lot. Studies show that people who live a very long time and who are typically   healthy laugh several hundred times a day.

In conclusion

Metaphorically, you have been leased a BMW brain and body for use on this planet. (Okay, Mustang, Mercedes, Maserati, Rolls Royce, Toyota, Leaf… Your choice!) How are you caring for your amazing life-vehicle? Unfortunately, at birth you were not handed a concise and helpful how-to-care-for-me manual. Fortunately, conclusions from research studies can provide you with a good start on creating your own manual. As I spoke with each of the three individuals, I suggested they create a personalized Owner’s Manual. Figure out how to apply strategies in ways that work for your unique brain and body. The goal is to keep your leased vehicle functioning smoothly, effectively, and energy-efficiently for a very long time.

There is good news. Developing a high-level wellness lifestyle can often help you resolve symptoms of PASS. It certainly did in my case! Sometimes you can even avoid burnout and mid-life crisis. If you’re already in that state, the strategies can assist you in recovery. Be patient with yourself. You didn’t get into this situation overnight and you won’t resolve it overnight.

You can, however, begin implementing strategies immediately, one at a time. When you have a handle on one, add another, and then another. Before long you may just find yourself living a consistent, balanced, energetic, high-level-healthiness lifestyle.

To be clear, you are the only person who can do this for you.

Start now!

NOTE: There are other strategies, as well. Refer to Taylor’s article “A Brain-Friendly Lifestyle” for a baker’s dozen. Also refer to Taylor’s book Age-Proofing Your Brain—21 Factors You Can Control.

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